Giant Goat Arsonists Foiled, and Other Important News
The sad fate of last years’s goat. Credit: BBC
Swedish authorities swear that arsonists will not be able to destroy this year’s giant straw holiday goat. A tradition for forty years, often the giant goat was set fire within days, sometimes hours of being erected. This year the goat has been coated with waterproof fireproof coating that will resist both rain and vandals. Why a giant Holiday Goat? Apparently in the Swedish Christmas tradition a goat delivered the Christmas presents. In fact some sources say the goat historically travelled in a sleigh pulled by eight fat men in red suits, but as a condition of entry into the EU they had to adopt the fat guy pulled by reindeer like everybody else. The Swedes should consider themselves lucky, in the US pornographic Christmas decorations are now available.
Moving right along, yes, I have been on vacation. Vacation from the news, there’s only so much news I can take these days. I miss the eighties when a single American serviceman’s death was Earth shaking news, now dozens have to die to even make the paper. At least that’s one promise Bush has kept in spades…war without end. One would think his supporters would make a big deal out of it, seeing as it is the only promise he has kept. Well, other than his promise to keep fiddling while Iraq burns.
In further Iraq news, the “government” of Iraq was “shocked” that UN Chief Kofi Annan said that the average Iraqi is worse off today than under Saddam. What the Iraqi government spokesman meant was that for him and his corrupt buddies living in the green zone under the protection of the American military, the situation is much better than under Saddam. And, um, they are working on the Iraqis living outside the Green Zone, but you know, those gosh darn Al-Qaeda terrorists keep messing up the beautiful plan. Sigh.
In Britain, it turns out that half the country is suffering from Polonium poisoning. OK, it’s not that bad, but the investigation keeps widening. I’m beginning to think the assassination was in fact carried out by amateurs, I’m pretty sure FSB agents wouldn’t be so sloppy with their weapon. This may very well end up like the USA Anthrax poisonings…the public may not know the true story for quite some time, if ever. The true cause of King Tut’s death was just announced for example, the public had to wait 3300 years for the answer to that mystery. In the silver lining category, the Polonium Restaurant in England is doing great with the notoriety of their name as a draw, the restaurant was named after a Polish Rock band from the 70s.
In bizarre world headlines Kenya’s Pentecostal community want their nation’s national museum to relegate its world famous hominid bone collection to a back room, out of public display. It’s sad day when scientists are asked to hide some of their greatest discoveries because they contradict religious dogma. Sadly this is pretty much the same as the logic behind Muslims who believe that women should be covered up. Both are basically saying “My faith is so weak that it cannot stand the sight of anything that might tempt me or contradict my religion’s dogma.” I frankly have to wonder how strong a person’s faith is when they want other people to hide things that might threaten it.
In a bit of good news, a US Marine was convicted of rape in the Philippines. OK, that’s not really good news per se, but at last nowadays crimes against women by American military personnel are being prosecuted. In my day in the service, the chances of that happening was almost zero. This is one of the signs that misogyny is losing ground on at least some fronts in the world. Feminism was never a particularly radical idea for me, all it means is that women are in fact human beings. D’oh. I’d say I don’t understand why some men are threatened by the idea, except that I think any man who is threatened by the idea isn’t much of a man.
(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It is not being used for profit, it is central to illustrating the post, and it is an historically important image.)
