Through thick and thin, or more accurately, another day of sad depressing headlines
A new breed of cat?
Another day of crappy headlines in the news, makes me want to go stomp on a puppy. Not literally of course, but that conveys my mood. Snarl. Just for fun I’m going to try a slightly different format today:
Blogger Jailed. A blogger in Egypt has been jailed for insulting Islam, sedition, mopery, dopery, and whatever else they could come up with. Yeah, Egypt is another bastion of freedom and democracy. Oh, that’s right, the blogger called Mubarak a dictator. Silly blogger, if a country is a US ally the proper term is “President for Life.” What was he thinking?
Iran Ignores Deadline. Iran ignored the UN deadline for Iran to abandon its perfectly legal Uranium enrichment program. The UN is now simply a vehicle for the west to bully people it doesn’t like with, so this is basically non news. Unless of course one is war monger who thinks all problems can be solved by blowing uppity brown people to bits, in which case this is very good news indeed.
Britney Spears. They have had to install a revolving door on her rehab centre, she’s back in rehab as of thirty seconds ago. Apparently she cut off her hair to avoid having it tested for drugs regarding an upcoming custody dispute over her children. My main question here is, who is Britney Spears and why does anyone care about this sort of nonsense?
Chlorine Gas Attacks. Some insurgents in Iraq are apparently resorting to chlorine gas attacks. Charming, just charming. War is hell, and this has a certain perverted logic to it. It will make folks even less likely to collaborate with Iraq’s quisling government, and place further strain on America’s already overstretched troops by forcing them to take protective measures against gas attack. It could backfire on the insurgents though, so we will see how this story develops.
Another Blackhawk Down. Yes, the ninth helicopter in a month has been shot down in Iraq. The insurgents are clearly making a concerted effort to down helicopters. Another demonstration that insurgents have the ultimate interior lines, usually it’s the occupier who has to keep changing tactics to respond to the insurgents, and Iraq is an excellent case in point. The American surge put even more strain on our forces and didn’t make any impact on the violence, the insurgent surge is blowing American helicopters out of the sky in alarming numbers. Of course if I say this is more evidence that the USA is losing the war, I will be accused of having a negative attitude that encourages our enemies. As if a war was some sort of sporting event where the side who gets pumped up the most wins.
Spear Chucking Chimps. In another blow to evolution deniers, chimpanzees have been observed making and using spears to hunt and kill other primates. Yes, these animals are truly our cousins, and is more proof that humans are little better than shaved chimps.
Dry Aliens. The first direct measurements of alien worlds have been made. And as has been the case every time we learn something new about planets around other suns, scientists didn’t find what they were expecting to find: water. Scientists aren’t sure why, but this is still a milestone in our exploration of the galaxy.
Cat Digits. A cat with 26 toes is making news, that’s eight extra toes. Her not terribly imaginative but well meaning people have named her “Extra.” She can shred the typical curtain to ribbons in less than two seconds (that’s one second better than average) and empty an entire litter box onto the bathroom floor in twelve seconds (two seconds better than average.) Wind tunnel tests have shown she can remain firmly attached to the carpet at wind speeds of up to 150 miles per hour (nearly 250 kph,) it is expected her progeny will be in great demand in hurricane afflicted areas.
(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law, it is not being used for profit, it is central to illustrating the post, and it is certain to become an historically important image.)