Doug's Darkworld

War, Science, and Philosophy in a Fractured World.

How Can I Destroy the Sun?

with 14 comments

stellar_collision

I recently came across a curious question on Yahoo Answers:

“I’ve grown tired of the sun and want to get rid of it.
How should I go about doing this?
I have Internet access and am saving up to buy whatever technology is necessary.”

Here at Doug’s Darkworld we strive to solve problems and clarify issues, and this is most definitely a big problem. And I delight in a challenge, not to mention providing public service, so for those who want to really go out with a bang, here’s how to destroy the Sun:

1. Antimatter: If a large enough chunk of antimatter was fired at the Sun fast enough, it would do the trick. The current price of anti-matter is 62.5 trillion dollars per gram, though that would likely come down a bit as thousands (or millions of tons) of it would be required. Inconveniently enough, humans do not possess the technology to store that much antimatter safely, let alone transfer it to the Sun. So a lot of R&D is going to0 be required as well. Add a few trillion dollars to the budget for this aspect of the project.

2. Collision: If a collision between the Sun and another large  astronomical object could be arranged, say one at least a quarter of the size of the Sun, that would probably do the trick. The faster the object is moving, the better. Even a good sized asteroid at relativistic speed would suffice. Unfortunately, unlike the antimatter above, there is no off-the-shelf supply of large astronomical objects to be purchased, so this will have to be done from the ground up. Buy a space centre, any will do, and start unloading truckloads of money. It will take decades and trillions of dollars, but would likely be cheaper than option number one, since most of the required technology is off-the-shelf.

3. Time Travel: If the Sun can be aged 20 billion years or more, it will have burned out. Unfortunately there is no known or theoretical way to do this. There’s a back door way though, time dilation: A spaceship travelling at relativistic speeds will allow the requisite billions of years to pass, when the spaceship returns to the Solar system, the Sun will have burnt out! This is the cheapest and most feasible option, but it may not be exactly what is required, since the Sun won’t actually be destroyed, it will simply have burnt out and be a cold dark ball. It would no longer generate all that annoying light and heat, but if it’s the mere presence of the Sun that is despised, then  no. 1 or no. 2 is the way to go.

After selecting of one of the above options, the other crucial step will be the procurement of evil minions and henchmen. In the early stages, low grade minions will do the trick, even if just to deal with the neighbours when they realize what is being  built in the basement. Minions of this calibre are relatively inexpensive, but will require travelling to some unhealthy places. Biker bars and housing projects will do the trick. If more exotic budget minions are required and there is a generous travel budget,  hired guns of almost all stripes can be had in Iraq or Afghanistan. How to actually travel to these places safely and procure said minions is beyond the scope of this answer, but someone resourceful enough to destroy the Sun should be able to muddle through this step.

Eventually as the project nears completion,  there are any number of organizations, even governments, that might try to impede a plan to destroy the Sun. Low grade minions simply will not do in this case, dealing with government interference is going to require absolutely top-notch evil minions. These do not come cheap, in fact they may very well the most expensive part of this project. It would be a shame to have such an ambitious undertaking fail at the last moment do to some meddling government agency, so no expense can be spared. On the plus side, a generous supply of world-class evil minions can be found at a very safe and convenient location: Wall Street.

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It’s not being used for profit, is central to illustrating the post, and, well, that’s it. I don’t even know who to credit it to, since I got it on a  blog that obviously simply swiped it from somewhere else. So I guess technically I’m not really using this image within the scope of US copyright law. I recently read that more than 157 million images are posted on blogs every 12 minutes in complete defiance of copyright,  so I think my chances of getting away with it are pretty good. And of course if the originator of the “how do I destroy the Sun” question even partially succeeds with their ambitious project,  copyright law will become irrelevant very quickly.)

Written by unitedcats

August 4, 2009 at 6:27 am

Posted in Science, World

14 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I would suggest borrowing a little bit of galactic core energy for this project. There should be a sufficient amount, and it’s a lot nearer and easier to acquire than some remote quasar, I’d think.

    Mike Goldman

    August 4, 2009 at 8:03 am

  2. I applaud your scientific reasoning, but I think there are a few other options you have failed to explore…

    1) Pronounce yahweh correctly. Not sure on this one, but will the sun blow up during Armageddon?

    2) Elicit the aid of an evil Elder race. Surely there’s a race of spacefaring supervillains that would trade the souls of the entire planet for one measly star explosion. Maybe Craigslist?

    3) Appeals to Shiva (or insert other God/Goddess of destruction). I think the trick is in the offering… I’ve been sacrificing poodles to Zorqhuan the Space God for years now and have yet to get my Corvette. Thinking of switching to gerbils.

    Andrew

    August 4, 2009 at 9:26 am

  3. I’m thinking about increasing the mass of the sun so that it will contract under its own gravity and eventually become a black hole. Putting a couple of other stars into the sun should do the trick.

    Binny V A

    August 4, 2009 at 11:02 am

  4. I think that whoever wants to destroy the sun has never tried living in darkness for an extended period of time. A person could go crazy like that.

    Could an infrared lazer destroy the sun?

    LC

    August 4, 2009 at 12:13 pm

  5. The problem really isn’t existence of the Sun but coexistence of it with the Earth. Destroying the latter is eminently feasible, and arguably a lot cheaper than any of the plans proposed above.

    Oliver

    August 5, 2009 at 12:23 am

  6. Hey, I don’t know how much you know about Mr. Tesla and T.T. Brown, and I don’t want to explain here, but I have always wanted to pilot the earth around like a big ship…sounds crazy, but might be possible to use the earth as a big “asymetrical capacitor thruster” or a huge “Ionic wind generator” so all you have to do is charge up the earths atmosphere and away we go, so if the sun is not your friend, just leave….haha. (I admit it needs some work but hey, details, just details…ha…)

    ps: I like your posts and look forward to them, keep’em comming.

    Peace

    Pyrodin123321

    August 10, 2009 at 8:51 am

  7. Great post. Like many people, I too have always yearned to eliminate the Sun: lazy, good-for-nothing nuclear reaction have no place in a decent universe. For total destruction, I suggest the mother of all death rays, perhaps situated on the moon. For ironic effect, I would suggest the death ray be solar-powered. (this way, with the Sun gone, nobody could then turn the death ray on the Earth and blow it up too – good insurance, I think).
    However, mightn’t it be better to encase the Sun inside an enormous Dyson’s Sphere? With the Sun safely shut up inside a gigantic, impenetrable ball, we could be sure of our safety against it’s evil machinations while still harnessing its energy for our needs. Destroying the Sun – a great idea; enslaving the Sun – much better!

    jeff

    August 10, 2010 at 9:00 am

  8. you must keep them coming, just found your blog, and i LOVE IT!

    טיולים

    December 2, 2010 at 10:10 am

  9. How’s about you just inject some iron into it? The dense material absorbs energy that sun uses for fusion. This causes a chain reaction that literally takes seconds to make the star either A) collapse in on itself; or B) explode in a supernova. Win-Win with minimal effort.

    VMIKEYDET

    October 23, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    • How much iron would be needed though? Obviously an I-beam of iron isn’t going to kill it.

      DeAngelo Frortz

      January 12, 2013 at 12:45 pm

  10. Sun is like a bulb.
    We just need to put oxygen inside that bulb causing the glownlg wire to burn he he he…(break the bulb) ;)
    So we need lot of oxygen to send on sun and within a minute sun will burn to hell & every thing will be nice.

    asr

    January 8, 2012 at 7:48 am

  11. I’d recommend chartering a jet and just constantly flying around the planet earth in the night-time bit. I know that’s a bit defeatist – but I think John Hurt’s character did something similar in ‘Contact’, so there might be some merit in it. Alternatively, so could use ‘Solenide’, as recommended in Plan 9 from Outer Space.

    Dougie Shozbot

    April 17, 2012 at 12:47 pm

  12. […] permalink I want to get something dumb in here: The People of the Earth Should Destroy the Sun! Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun – Democratic Underground How can one destroy the Sun? – Quora Destroy the Sun! | The Slightly Disgruntled Scientist Destroy the Sun! Petition How Can I Destroy the Sun? Doug's Darkworld […]

  13. i hate the sun as well kill it asap

    black

    September 14, 2016 at 10:45 am


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: