Lost Love, New Beginning
We’ll, I’m back. Sort of. I’m not the same person I was just eight short weeks ago, and whoever he was, he’s not coming back. Though it would be more accurate to say, he’s coming back, but he’s changed. A good thing too, he’d pretty much said what he had to say. Long story short, something very upsetting happened, and my brain rebooted. One of my Buddhist friends got all excited about it when I tried to explain, in the Buddhist tradition it’s a good thing to periodically cleanse oneself of old thoughts and habits. I would agree, but sheesh, does it have to be so damn painful? In any event it’s all more or less ended well, I have my mojo back and am making great progress in all areas of my life, personally and professionally.
So what does this mean for Doug’s Darkworld? Who knows. I don’t think my crystal ball ever worked, and I’ve seen so many of them backfire horribly that I think they should be classified as WMDs. I’m incredibly busy rebuilding my life right now so I don’t have a whole lot of time to write. So I will be posting sporadically, and only posting about stuff that really intrigues me for one reason or another. And that’s about all I can promise right now. The tone of things may be different though, I am awash in a sea of emotion still, and it spills out whenever I put my thoughts into words.
And yes, this whole crisis was about a woman. Aren’t they always? I lost the love of my life. It’s worse than that actually, I chased her away. I was a blind fool, trapped by the demons of my past and my present. And by the time I realized my folly, she was gone. She tried so hard, and I let every chance slip by. I’d be a happily married man with a child by now if I only could have seen what the Universe was offering me. Instead I’m a lonely old fool with a hole in my heart that will take years to heal, if ever. Good bye Lauren, God speed, God bless, God grant you happiness and love the rest of your days.
(The above image is a 19th century painting by Alfred Sisley and is Public Domain under US copyright law.)