Doug's Darkworld

War, Science, and Philosophy in a Fractured World.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES, WARNING, SEEING THIS MOVIE MAY DAMAGE YOUR MIND

with 9 comments

A TV commercial just came on saying “Battle: Los Angeles” was the world’s number one movie. I’ve seen it. If it’s the world’s number one movie, it’s because it doesn’t have much competition. Not that it’s a bad movie. If one likes alien invasion movies, say Aliens crossed with Independence Day, it’s a passable and even enjoyable movie. (Aliens and Independence Day, whatever else one may say of them, are at the top of their genres.)

—Insert mild spoiler warning here.

The idea behind “Battle: Los Angeles” was to make a realistic alien invasion movie, combined with a gritty combat movie. In that, to a large extent, they succeeded where others have failed. In Independence Day for example, or Cloverfield, or Skyline, the alien’s rationale and tactics we’re both silly and/or incomprehensible. So I can get behind the idea of a realistic alien invasion movie.

And the producers tried, they really did. The start of the movie was great. The aliens managed to figure out a way to get close to Earth without being detected, and launched a basically D-Day style invasion of Earth. As war movies go, way cool. They emphasized the importance of air power. The aliens had a military very analogous to human militaries. They weren’t invincible, their weapons were no more powerful than ours. It was a great fight, humans were the aborigines that a colonial oppressor had decided to exterminate.

Sigh. The movie at one point explained the alien’s rationale for invading. I can only hope that in the director’s cut, this will be edited out. It was so stupid, that it rivals the scene in Independence Day where a Mac laptop interfaces with an alien computer system. The ugly truth is that if aliens capable of star travel wanted to capture Earth, they would just toss rocks at us from the Asteroid Belt, obliterate our 10,000 largest cites (and 90-99% of the human race,) and hunt down what humans remained like the vermin that we are.

The other really stupid thing, the aliens were terrible shots. I mean not just bad, but terrible. I mean, how hard is hit to it someone with a automatic weapon from 3 feet away? Maybe they weren’t used to Earth’s sunlight,  or gravity, or ere hung over from a  big pre-invasion party the night before, I dunno. Still, even with those two stupid things, it was still better than most alien invasion movies. Most alien invasion movies consist of endless stupid things and horrible plots as well. I think in that vein, Signs might be the stupidest movie ever made. It had the stupidest aliens too, I mean, an  alien travels light years to get to Earth, but can’t figure out how to get out of a locked pantry? The clincher was the thing that made the alien invasion doomed … water as like acid to them, just spray a bit on one and poof, fried alien.

Let’s think, say you’re a human leader and are looking for alien planets to invade. You find one. It has vast sulphuric acid oceans lakes, and rivers. Clouds of sulphuric acid float throughout the atmosphere, and sulphuric acid rain is commonplace. And the life forms on the planet are all mostly made of sulphuric acid. Would that make a great planet for humans to  invade and conquer? Of course not, it would be insane. Of course, considering some the USA’s recent invasions, maybe it wouldn’t be that far fetched.

Then there’s the fact that even watching the trailer, I thought, “The aliens want LA, so? Give it to them.” What can I say, I have  a Northern Californians attitude towards Southern California.

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It’s not being used for profit, is central to illustrating the post, and I’m basically plugging the movie so I can’t imagine anyone would object. Credit and copyright: Columbia Pictures. Next we get back into the disaster that continue to unfold in Libya and Japan Washington, LA getting blown up was just a  light diversion. Starting to look like LA is the Tokyo of our times as far as city destroying alien invasions go. If you see the movie, enjoy.)

 

Written by unitedcats

March 21, 2011 at 12:24 pm

9 Responses

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  1. You’re definitely right about this movie being a heck of alot better than “signs”. It was the more exhilarating of the two at least.

    Salty

    March 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm

  2. I think you missed a greater point about movies like this being a conditioning for our species to accept the eventuality of contact with a non-human species.
    I’m pretty sure that you don’t believe in aliens, but the majority of the human race does, and there’s places on Earth that accept the presence of extraterrestrials as a foregone conclusion.
    These alien-invasion movies are generally a pretext. They are generally metaphorical. In the case of this one, where they’re nearly evenly matched with our technology may not be that far fetched; I mean, we are being conditioned to believe that we are the most technological being on this planet that there ever has been, right? I mean humans created Stonehenge, and all the other wonders of the world: The Great Pyramids, that sorta thing. Sure they came from 10,000 light years away, but so what? Humans build Chizen Iza, and a whole host of other amazing things. So why wouldn’t we be able to defeat extraterrestrials with our advanced technology? I don’t see how the stealth bomber, say, wouldn’t be able to sneak up on them, and bomb the snot outta them.

    zen

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    • Well, the stealth bomber didn’t work in Cloverfield. :P j/k Yes, “What’s up with all these alien invasion movies?” has indeed crossed my mind recently. It’s in fact fodder for a complete post, and I’ll write it soon as it is sure to generate some discussion. Thanks! —Doug

      unitedcats

      March 21, 2011 at 2:42 pm

  3. Sounds like a video-game intro.
    Or a marine recruiting film. That would explain the vast amount of aid from that branch.

    Either way logic would harm the results.

    jm

    March 21, 2011 at 5:36 pm

  4. well i just saw this movie, little to no major plot. however i don’t think it was made to have a plot, i think its just a movie your supposed to sit back and let it take you for a ride.

    regardless of what critics think, i enjoyed it.

    Ryan

    March 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

  5. Water! The aliens wanted our water! They recycled that stupid reason for invasion from the original V miniseries.

    Apparently these advanced beings thought it was easier to invade earth than to melt a few asteroids.

    Pastor Tobin Maker D.D

    April 2, 2011 at 3:10 am

    • I meant Oort objects, of course.

      Pastor Tobin Maker D.D

      April 2, 2011 at 3:11 am

  6. the most stupid alien movie.stupid aliens with human made like weapons and very very bad movie1

    Aron

    April 3, 2011 at 2:51 pm

  7. No, it wasn’t a bad movie. “Doomsday” was a bad movie. “Outland” was a bad movie. “Land of the Lost” was a bad movie. This was a OK movie with a few serious flaws. I wouldn’t urge anyone to see it, but if it’s on late night TV years from now, I’ll watch it again. —Doug

    unitedcats

    April 4, 2011 at 7:59 pm


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